Granted, I live in a nice share house. In comparison to houses past and potentially future, my current abode is a gem – nice living room, kitchen, spatious bedrooms, with a bonus patio and downstairs brewery. Why is it then that the owner and rental agency have begun the long slide into decrepitude? Although barely noticeable at present, I recognise the signs and it has begun. Before I elaborate, let me first say that it is, I believe, a characteristic of nigh-on all rental properties kicking about…

In my house (as with all properties) things have worn, ceased to function and/or simply broken. Our right to retribution consistently seems to get muffled in the rather complex chain of chinese whispers (Us < --> Real Estate < --> Owner), and consequently we have waited a veritable age to get things fixed – dish washer, front lock, bbq, and rangehood to mention the present particulars.

When issues are finally seen to, as has happened with our front lock today, the replacement component has the appearance and feel of a Crazy Clark’s discount bin giveaway. Talking analogously, our former dead-lock Hercules has been replaced with a dandy Peter Allen. Would the owners have bought themselves that flimsy piece of faux hardened steel had it been their house? Methinks not.

Which is why rental properties all begin their decline to something less than a home. Seemingly imperceptible at first, piece by piece of home is replaced with dodgy stodginess – discount maintenance job by discount maintenance job – until only the decrepit rental property remains.

Bah…