The Dupe


That’s what I call the sensation I get when I open a piece of fruit that has every outward appearance of being totally awesome only to discover that it is anything but. Examples of the dupe include a mouthwateringly inviting apple that turns out to be completely floury upon the moment of tooth-sink; an avocado which is perfect to touch and which begs to be smeared on the quintessential toastie with tomato and cheese, only to reveal itself as being poo-brown and mushy on the interior.

The double dupe occurs when the piece of produce in question has been given significant pre-consumption thought (perhaps through song or verse – “I’m gonna eat you toastie, oh yeah, toastie you’re gonna be awesome in my belly.”) and it turns out to be the very last of your stock.

Today’s rant was brought to you by the wonderously excquisite looking navel orange that turned out to be be a dupe: dry, anti-succulent tripe – like chewing the lining off a week old sausage.


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