Ok so on the weekend I had one of those days; the ones where you finally decide to sit down and sift through the one and a half kilos of paper that constitute your life. When I’m dead and gone, the only thing left of me will be pay slips from myriad former employees, medical receipts (a la knee reconstruction), a few tax returns, and half an amazonian ecosystem of bank statements.

Taking the few hours to sort papers and meticulously plan the manner in which to postpone any real sort of ‘life getting in order action’ gave me the pleasant opportunity to rediscover a few ‘facts’ about myself, long since forgotten.

1) Lonely Planet owes me a guide book of my choice after they accepted information I wrote regarding the road from Er Rachidia and Merzouga in Morocco in 2003.
2) I was born at 9:10am in the morning, as indicated by my birth spoon, recently rediscovered.
3) I still have a $5 deposit sitting at JB Hi-Fi for a copy of Nick Drake’s ‘Time of No Reply’ dating from some random day in 2003-04. The age and state of the receipt would suggest that I paid for the deposit with two $2 notes and a $1 note.
4) Over the years I have had 5 attempts to start a scratch book/journal/notepad…all of which ended after 3 and a 1/2 pages of melancholy melodrama…’woe is me’.
5) I still have a random assortment of keys from my last rental property, none of which fitted any lock at that time and (by a priori assumption) will continue to be useful for not much more than throwing at the resident brush turkey.
6) I have accumulated 11, 556,756, 437, 857, 456, 346, 997 credit card award points – equal to the sum of $55 australian dollars or half an imported cordless phone…

I’m already looking forward to this time next year when you’ll find another post stating items 1, 2 and 3 again and another interesting fact regarding the number of times I was photographed humping some inanimate object during my eastern europe trip…(around 4 I think)…till then, stay happy and turn your tap off whilst brushing teeth…