This is a list of the times I’ve wished I’ve had Jedi Powers

1) – Lying in bed and the light still needs to be switched off. (A quick wave of the Jedi finger and off)
2) – When you do a parallel park on a busy road and leave your tail out in the street. (This requires a little more concentration and overall Jedi-ness, to move the butt away from the perils of passing ‘L’ platers.
3) – Imbecilic bouncer at the ‘X’ pub, who won’t let me in because I’ve consumed 24 beers and am wearing sneakers, tattered shorts and a mullet. (Jedi mind trick -”Let him pass…We don’t need to see his ID…Here take a 50 for a few rounds… (to other bouncer) Frank did you know that I have a small, impotent penis”
4) -

Not that I would abuse the powers of the ‘light side’… what is the opposite to the dark side? “Luke, come to the ‘pastel side’!”