How many times have we heard the phrase? How many times does the prophesying come true? I would put a conservative estimate that 99.9% of people who have died on this earth have foregone the opportunity for fame and have settled on more standard fodder such as “blurgh”, “don’t let me die”, “aewgh” and – in more recent times – “oh fuck”…

So what is actually required for someone to have famous last words?

Here are a few ideas…

a) The death cannot be “instantaneous” - unless you have said the majority of the sentence and people can deduce the rest, a la General John Sedgewick (1813-1864) – who decried “”They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist–” before being shot in the head. Oh the irony…
b) You should exist in more than the Hollywood medium a la – William Wallace’s ‘Frreeeedom’. Tut tut.
c) Someone needs to be there to record it – a scribe, black box, mobile phone or friend could all suffice. An enemy is not recommended as the bearer of your final last words lest you wish to be known in posterity as that guy who said – “The minions of God and heaven shall not carry me forth till it is known to all that I like to take it up the bum-bum. [...] blurgh“…
d) People have to actually care about what you say - unless of cause, it is ironic or humourous, a la Poisoner William Palmer on the scaffold saying “Are you sure this damn thing’s safe?”. Oh the hilarity!
e) ??

________________________________________________

My personal favourite (and the one that got me started on this little tangent) was that of Vincent Van Gogh, who after fatally wounding himself in the chest lay in his bed and uttered “La tristesse durera toujours” – “Sadness will last forever”. Being a good little patriotic bunny, I also like Ned Kelly’s “Such is Life”…

Furthermore, I find it fitting that Jesus (the son of God) had the amazing capacity of stating three famous last quotes (simultaneously?) –
“It is finished.” per John 19:30
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me!” per Mark 15:34-5 and Matthew 27:46
“Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.” per Luke 23:46

And for me? I still oscillate between – ‘I like boobies’, ‘What do you mean it’s poisonou….’ or the understated yet eloquent ‘blurgh‘…
_______________________________________________

For a quick scan of a few famous last quotes, you could check this out. For a somewhat more comprehensive listing, check out the A-Z of real people’s famous last words.